the rich young ruler

Everyone wants savior Jesus, but nobody wants Lord Jesus, especially the rich young ruler.

Sometimes I actually think that I am fully surrendered to Christ - probably because I am willing to move and be a missionary in Kenya. Willingness to sell your stuff and move to Africa equals openness right? 

It at least makes me more perfect than the rich young ruler.

When the rich man asked Jesus what he had to do to have eternal life, this is what Jesus said to him:

"If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." (Matt. 19:21)

What would your response to Jesus be? 

"When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions" (Matt. 19:22).

Unlike the rich young ruler, I am willing to sell everything for Jesus. At least that is what I used to think. But there is a question in the "Open" book that I cannot get out of my mind... 

What's the unspoken limit to what you will sacrifice in order to follow Jesus?

If you are like me and quick to judge the young ruler, let me offer you the conviction God has given me. Jesus has an individual call for everyone, however when he calls a person, he bids them come and die, and this is true for every disciple of Christ (Boenhoffer).

There are specific sacrifices Jesus demands of some followers of His... to sell everything, to drop their nets, leave their father, leave their home, and let the dead bury the dead. But there is also a general sacrifice for all of us who would choose to make Jesus not just our savior, but our Lord.

"Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me." (Matthew 10:38)

Then He called the crowd to Him along with His disciples and said: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." (Mark 8:34)

"And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:27)

Then He said to them all: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23)

Jesus invites us to follow Him. It's an invitation to the cross, it's an invitation to death. If we join Him in His suffering, He promises a reward that is worthy to sacrifice for. "Whoever loses His life for me, will find it." (Mt. 16:25)

What does it mean to lose your life? What does it mean to deny yourself?

It doesn't mean to actually hang on a cross, although some have and more will... it is all about making Jesus the Lord of your heart, the Lord of your life. And if you do this, there will be treasure for you in heaven. But what about your treasure here on earth? 

Where your treasure is - there your heart will be also. I have different riches than the young ruler - meaning we have different crosses to bear. I'm not death gripping the same treasure he was, but there are things in my life that might make me walk away sad if Jesus asked me to give them up. 

In a blog I read recently the writer referenced a quote from her pastor:

"You don't know what idols you worship until Jesus says, ‘I want it.'"

Idols aren't bad things. They are the best things in your life. They are probably your most precious treasures. They become idolatrous when we are unwilling to give them up to God.

God is jealous for us, especially when we give our hearts away to lesser gods. He longs for us to have an undivided heart. He wants our minds attention and our hearts affection. I love this story because it gives us a look into the young ruler's heart, into the idolatry found there.

Jesus always revealed the true state of people's hearts. We must not avoid digging deeper into ours. Ephesians 5:11 says to expose the heart. What is exposed by the light becomes visible -- and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. If we want to be children of the light we must have fellowship with the light. (1 John 1:6)

I'm encouraged, inspired, comforted, and convicted by two examples of sacrifice in the Bible, better examples to follow than the young ruler -- Abraham and Jesus.

Can you imagine God asking you to murder your son? That is basically what happened to Abraham.

What do you love the most in this world? Who do you love the most?

Abraham was so committed to God, he was willing to submit no matter what, and to obey even to the point of sacrificing the thing he loved the most. Abraham loved God more than anything in this world, even his only child.

The good part about Isaac is that Abraham's willingness was sufficient, he didn't actually have to go through with making the sacrifice. There is another story much similar, except with what seems to be a sadder ending. However the suffering and sacrifice turns out to be completely worth it. 

You see... there was another Father that had to sacrifice His son on the alter. And like Isaac, there was another young man that climbed up onto a tree, trusting His dad. His name is Jesus.

Imagine Jesus in the garden of Gathsemane.... sweating blood, wrestling with the will of God. "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." (Matthew 26:39)

Jesus was willing to die to acheive the will of God.

Are you?

Am I?

Jesus is the perfect example of denying yourself and taking up your cross. He invites us to follow Him to our death which leads to life in HIm. You see, denying yourself and taking up your cross is a picture of Jesus' death - dying to your will, and submitting yourself to God's, obediently laying down your life for Him. Good news - if you lay down your life you will pick it up again through Christ.

More good news about God's will = It is perfect and good. The cross seemed like the worst thing that could have ever happened, but we needed it in order to get to the resurrection. There was purpose in the pain and meaning in the suffering. It was worth it - because Jesus rose and He lives. We will also rise and inherit the kingdom of God - IF we follow Christ to the cross.

So... What's the unspoken limit? What lines have you drawn? Where are you fighting God?

If Jesus calls you, will you go? Will you drink the cup or let it pass? Will you walk away sad like the rich young ruler? Will you put your only son on the alter? Will you lay down your life for Christ?

Maybe God isn't asking you to sacrifice your son or literally give up your life... Maybe He isn't asking you to sell everything or move to Africa... but i'm confident there is a step He is calling you to take, a door he wants you to knock on and walk through, suffering he wants you to endure for His name's sake. Will you yield? Will you submit? Will you obey? Will you sacrifice? Will you take the cup? Will you go to the cross?

A friend of mine once said, "I love Jesus more than sex." And may that be true for each of us - may we love Jesus more than the idol our heart clings to. More than our riches. More than our only son. May we keep a loose grip on the things we love the most. And may we not withhold any area of our lives from the hand of God.


I've recently felt a sense of wandering in the wilderness. God has been using my broken dreams, disappointments, and unmet expectations to reveal areas of sin that need exposed in my heart. It's almost as if God has intentionally allowed me to experience this pain - not to hurt me, but to love me. I praise Him for the suffering and adversity because it is there that I encounter His glorious mercy and grace. God has been redeeming me and the space I give him in my heart with His purposes and I am learning to live by every word that comes from the Lord. 

The rich young ruler missed the promise when he focused instead on the sacrifice he was asked to make. The sacrifice is costly, but it also comes with a worth while gain.

"You will have treasure in heaven, come, follow me." 

God will lead us through something painful to bring us to a greater thing or a greater place. Will we count the cost and consider him worthy?

Galatians 2:20 says that the Lord Jesus has laid claim to every part of my life, and He has every right to do so. My prayer is that despite my sheepish ways, God's grace will continue to make me holy until I'm completely conformed to the image of His Son, who does not worship false gods. God will not give His glory to anyone or anything else. No other name! He deserves all of our worship and all of our praise. 

So what is God putting His finger on in your heart and life that you have been worshipping instead of Him? It won't feel good... but it's God's perfect Fatherly love that will use something painful to lead you to the greatest gain you will ever know - an intimate relationship with your Maker. 

"Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother of children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life." (Matt 19:29)

Whatever it is that Jesus wants, put it on the alter. 

one year of living one day at a time

One day at a time. This saying brings a tear to my eye when I hear it... because it is what my dad said every day that he battled cancer, right up until the very end. After he passed I clung to this saying to get me through my grief journey. And now I've had a whole year of living just one day at a time.

It has been so hard to work through the pain of my grief. I am not good at grief. I have been waiting for this anniversary to come, hoping it would be the beginning of an easier journey. I like to cope by minimizing and intelectuallizing. I would feel much better if I understood my grief or could make some sense of it. But I can't. I barely have words to describe it. I would love to say the year was full of reminiscing about the good times and rainbows with no rain... but honestly the first year was covered in fog. It was so hard to recognize my grief which made it difficult to deal with. I expected the first year to be hard but it was more than I imagined. There is nothing you can do to fix it. Or stop it. It's been hard for me to cope with it. Now that I've reached this day I think I'm going to have to continue to take one day at a time.

Several close friends have texted me letting me know they were thinking of me and praying for me. They knew the anniversary would be a hard day. I'm not really sure how to handle it... I guess by writing this. A good friend of mine told me to think about the precious family time we had and the good memories. My dad's cancer brought my family together and united us in a special way. That is one of the greatest things that has come out of the ashes. And God continues to grow and heal my family, bringing us closer to him and closer together. My family has showed so much strength as they too have been on this grief ride. I praise God for the courage he has given all of us to face each new day and the example my precious family has been to me.

There have been days where I have been totally overwhelmed, overcome with despair, crippled by fear, attacked with anxiety, lost in confusion, and deep down just sad about my dad. When I think about him passing I'm still traumatized by my experience with his death. As I fight to find the joy that comes in the morning I'm reminded of my Heavenly father who has never left me in the middle of the night. In fact, He has given me songs in the night. (Job 35:10)

One of my favorite things we did with my dad in his last month was that we watched "symphony" by Louie Giglio. I specifically remember several things that were in that video teaching. I even quoted it a couple weeks later when giving the eulogy at the funeral about my dad worshipping God with whales.

This year has been full of dark clouds in the night.

Louie Giglio went through a two-month struggle with stress and depression and it was the darkest time of his life. One night he woke up asking God to help him and he remembered a passage of Scripture in Job that says, "God gives songs in the night."

"When you get in the dry and weary land you need to know that there is a God who has a song for that moment, too," Louie said. He then starting singing the song God gave him:

Be still my soul there is a healer. His love is deeper than the sea. His mercy is unfailing. His arms a fortress for the weak.

Louie said that it was a weapon of praise that led him out of the valley of the shadow of death. The line he repeated for hours at night during his depression/anxiety was this:

I lift my hands to believe again...

My dad loved this video and it really helped me through the funeral and first few months. But it helps me every single night. When darkness comes I'm reminded to lift my hands to believe again, to praise God with the song that he gives me. Praising God opens up the clouds and allows the light of God's love to shine in and lift my head, to still my soul. Every time I worship God I can't help but lifting my hands - and thinking about my Dad worshipping in heaven with me and the whales...

I wish I could skip over the pain that comes from the dark seasons in my life, but honestly God is so good that he uses the muck and mess of our life to bring us closer to Him. He breaks us down to bind us up. And he does it all in love. Nothing is meaningless, nothing is wasted. John Piper says that every second of your pain and suffering is totally meaningful, every second of your misery in the path of obedience is producing in you and achieving for you an eternal weight of glory. It's in those moments where we get to experience a holy suffering as we cry out asking God to let the cup pass. Job said, "Though you slay me, yet will I trust you."

May you not lose heart and may you find the joy that comes even in the darkness as God gives you a song that wells up in your heart.... Praise will lead us out of the darkness and into His marvelous light as we continue to take one day at a time.

losing family

One of my goals in 2014 is to be a better writer. Correction, to be a writer you have to actually write. My goal is to simply write. The root and motivation is my dream of being who God created me to be and using my gifts to do what God created me to do, so that others might praise my Father in heaven.

More specifically, I would like to publish the blogs I write instead of just storing them in my draft folder. My goal is to write one blog a week. To not bury my gift. Getting back into writing is hard work. There are about 200 lies from the enemy I must first deal with before the hard part of actually punching the keys on my laptop. And don't forget the inspiration to find something to write about that is worthy to be read....

A few days ago a friend said to me, "Never apologize for who you are." I've realized how often I do that. I was about to say sorry for the words you are reading now, because in my mind I have already decided that they aren't good enough. But if you have stumbled upon my blog, and are reading my ramblings, then I want to say welcome to my first blog of the new year. There are so many things I want to change about myself this year. There are so many areas I want to grow in. There is so much I want to do. And not do. But I think God just wants me to be me. So here is my 1 talent. Here is my first victory of the new year, not letting satan quiet me. Not letting satan steal my voice. Letting my light shine. I'm not apologizing and I'm not pre-determining.   



The year 2013 will always be marked by the loss of my father.

I've been reflecting on the highs and lows, lessons learned, seasons that have come and gone... but more than anything the mercy and grace of my heavenly Father that has been evident through it all. He has given me comfort and strength through the valleys and turned ashes into beauty, taking what the enemy intended for evil and used it for good.

Losing my father in the beginning of the year would become the event that would mark all the days that would follow. The grief was intense at times, sudden at others, and has visited me daily. It has changed me. There is a new hole in me. An emptiness that I feel each day when I wake up and it lingers as I lay in bed at night.

My helpful-but-not-so-spiritual solution is to watch a show or movie at night so I can try and stop thinking and rest my heart, mind, soul, and body. Lately I've been watching Finding Forrester. I love it because it is all about writing and basketball - two of my favs! There is a quote in that movie that I cannot stop thinking about.

"Losing family obliges us to find our family. Not always the family that is our blood, but the family that can become our blood. Should we have the wisdom to open our door to this new family, we will find that the wishes we had for the father, who once guided us and for the brother, who once inspired us...." (Finding Forrester) 

God in His sheer goodness has enabled me to find family this year, despite the loss I encountered on January 13th, 2013. God has graciously gifted me with dear friends to walk with on the good days and bad, friends that were miraculously able to love me at my worst, despite my selfishness, and people that would overflow the love of God into my life, comforting me and bringing joy despite the festering and sometimes bleeding wounds deep within my soul. The gift of friendship, and the family I found this year has brought healing and hope into my life. And the security of unconditional acceptance has freed me from so much torment and slavery that plagued me deeply before.

Not only has losing family applied to my 2013, it was the theme in my childhood. Dysfunction, neglect, abuse, divorce, abandonment... I had a family, but I definitely experienced a lot of loss early on. Again, God in His grace rescued me from the dominion of darkness and brought me into His family, adopting me as His own daughter. From then on I experienced the new family the quote above is talking about. I joined the church and became a part of the body of Christ. I had spiritual parents and loving brothers and sisters in Christ. There have been so many amazing, Godly people that have poured love and encouragement into my life. Community in the church is one of the greatest gifts I've experienced in this life. Family doesn't have to be blood. I wouldn't have made it through high school if it weren't for those people that were in my life at the time. And I wouldn't have been able to get through this past year without them either. Although they are different people now, it is still my church family, which amazingly enough also includes some of my blood family, that has shown me the love and grace of God and carried me through.

But people are people, they are not God. People constantly come and go in and out of our lives, whether we would like them to or not. Seasons change; we can't stop the snow from falling on the ground. Community is messy but it is worth it. We can only find our family if we open our lives up to it, despite the risk and vulnerability involved.  

People were never intended to meet the deepest needs and desires found within us. Those are places that only God can touch and anything that tries will be pale in comparison.

My desire for the hole in me to be filled has never been greater than it was after the loss of my father. The best part about this past year was that my friends and my family, although they loved me well, they failed me. They couldn't bring my dad back or save me, or heal the wounds. They couldn't fix my sin problem or defeat satan. They couldn't conquer death. There is nothing on this earth that is adequate. Nothing that fits. Nothing that fills. Nothing that is enough. And I've never tried harder to not be empty! I've never worked harder than I did this year. I'm still empty. It's insatiable.

The truth is, We don't need to be fixed, we need a savior. The glimpse of love, acceptance, and worth my family, blood and not, brought into my life would and will always fail me and come up short. And this is the beauty in our need. My depravity and desperation bring me to the cross where I recognize how great my need really is and where I find the love of Christ, the only thing that satisfies. I figure out my problem and find the solution, only at the cross. It's my sin and His name is Jesus.

Those wishes we have for family.... can come true and be met, only in Christ, and only through His church - it's the hope of the world. His love and grace is sufficient for the deepest hole and greatest needs we have in our lives. My prayer and encouragement is that God would give you the wisdom to open the door and open your life to new family this year. And even if... even when, rather... they fail you... our heavenly Father never will.

open lives, open arms

We were made for relationship. With God and with other people. This is why the greatest commandment is to Love God and the second is to love other people. Connection gives meaning and purpose to our lives and that is why God has called us to community. It's all about fellowship with God and one another. We need each other!

As our church studies Open, The Life of a Dangerous Witness.... I've been convicted that I may not be the most 'open' role model.  We've discussed open lives and open arms thus far... and Mike preached on how to open our lives, by sharing our lives. When looking at my witness, I often find myself pretending, hiding, cowering in shame and running from vulnerability. 

I've shared my favorite quotes with my small group about being authentic and genuine:

“The opposite of love is self-protection.” 

“To love at all is to be vulnerable.” 

“We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. (1 Thes 2:8)"

The reality is that I haven’t been open with God, myself, or my group, let alone with those far from Christ. And as I lead through this study… my prayer is that God would OPEN ME! I recognize that before I can share the good news of the grace and love of Jesus with those that are lost and in need around me, I need to receive the gift myself.

It's hard to share the grace if we haven't received it ourselves. It's hard to offer help if we haven't asked for it ourselves. To get the bread we must first admit we are a beggar, sick and in need of a doctor. Forgiven, not perfect in our own strength. So with arms open wide, here I am. 

I’m encouraged that the call isn’t one of perfection but of vulnerability, however I’m not sure which of those is harder. When looking at this idea of open lives and loving others with open arms I have been convicted about my unbelief and lack of faith in my trustworthy, Heavenly Father.

Honestly, I rarely believe God, let alone trust Him. But the Spirit is leading me onto the waters where I must have ruthless trust and dare greatly to allow the sovereign hand of God to be my guide. As my fear rises with the waves I must choose to stand on faith. I’m choosing to be like Peter and step out into the place where my feet may fail. God’s promises are good, so my mustard seed of faith will lead me where my trust is without borders onto the waters and it is here where my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my savior. It's here where I will find my open life, and where I will invite others into my open arms. 

Being this fearless is dangerous. The natural response when we recognize we are naked is to run and hide, that’s what Adam and Eve did in the garden. Humans are so  scared to be truly seen and fully known in their imperfection – and it is this fear that will keep us from opening our lives. It’s what has kept me from being a dangerous witness. 

I am in love with Brene Brown’s research – here is what she says: 

The one thing that can unravel connection is shame, which is the fear of disconnection. This happens when we wonder if there is something about ourselves, that if other people know or see, than we won't be worthy of connection. What keeps us out of connection is our fear that we are not worthy of connection.

Shame is the swampland of our soul and the voice that says 'I'm not good enough, smart enough, blank enough...'

Shame is much different than guilt... Guilt focuses on the behavior while shame focuses on the self – I did something bad vs. I am bad. I made a mistake vs. I am a mistake.  

Under this shame is excruciating vulnerability – vulnerability is NOT weakness – it is emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty… to be vulnerable is to let yourselves be seen, to be honest. 

Brene divides people into two groups - those who have a sense of worthiness - a sense of love and belonging, with those who don't - folks who struggle with it and always wonder. People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. It all comes down to whether or not you believe you are worthy.

To live wholeheartedly, we must function from a deep sense of worthiness and security in Christ. Here is what that looks like:

1.      Courage – the original definition means 'to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.' Courage to be imperfect.

2.      Compassion – to be kind to themselves first and then to others – can’t practice compassion with others if can’t treat ourselves kindly.

3.      Connection – as a result of authenticity. Let go of who they thought they should be to be who you really are – have to do that for connection.

4.      Vulnerability – fully embraced. Believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. Necessary. Willingness to do something where there are no guarantees. To invest in relationship that may not work out. 

The way to live is with vulnerability. 

Most of us have a vulnerability issue – it’s the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it is also the birthplace of our joy, belonging, and love. Shame lives and grows in secrecy, silence, and judgement. To find our way back to connection, love, and belonging we need to find our way back to each other. The path is vulnerability. 

Vulnerability works best with empathy. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle is, “Me too.”.

It is very seductive to want to be perfect and bulletproof – but that wouldn’t be daring greatly. It is those who are in the arena that are brave and courageous, living wholeheartedly.

To be open – we have to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen, to love with our whole hearts even though there is no guarantee… to practice gratitude and joy in moments of terror, wondering can I love you this much, can I believe in this this passionately, can I be this fierce – instead of catastrophizing what might happen just be grateful because to feel this vulnerable is to be alive. And believe that we are enough. You are enough – stop screaming and start listening, to be kinder to people around us and kinder to ourselves.  

Thank you Brene Brown. To love at all is to be vulnerable. To be open is to share and connect. Get in the arena, open your life, open your arms, and dare greatly. 

Come to me like little children

Today my prayer has been what I learned at the Global Leadership Summit. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

Today, I am very human. But I'm going to be brave.

I should have known I was going to be facing my humanness when I received a text from a friend this morning at 6:30am pointing me to a Jesus Calling Devo that said this:

"Trust me in the depths of your being. It is there that I live in constant communion with you. When you feel flustered and frazzled on the outside, do not get upset with yourself. You are only human, and the swirl of events going on all around you will sometimes feel overwhelming. Rather than scolding yourself for your humanness, remind yourself that I am both with you and within you.
I am with you at all times, encouraging and supportive rather than condemning. I know that deep within you, where I live, my peace is your continual experience. Slow down your pace of living for a time. Quiet your mind in my presence. Then you will be able to hear me bestowing the resurrection blessing: peace be with you."

I feel like I've been knocked off of my horse. My very high-off-of-the-ground horse. I'm feeling downcast, discouraged, confused and afraid. Not only that... but I feel alone. I'm not spiraling out of control... I am just experiencing some uncomfortable circumstances and disappointed expectations... I'm just having natural, normal, human emotions because I'm not a robot and I'm not God. I'm feeling empty and desperate for love and worth.

This is usually the point where I condemn myself, which sends me into a spiral. But not today. I refuse to let satan win today!

I texted a friend and told her I was trying hard to not be a child. What I meant by that is that I was trying to be mature. Ya know, an adult. Buck up. Lock and load. I didn't want to be emotional or desperate for attention. I didn't want to be needy.

Children are super needy! It's they way they are made. They constantly crave attention and will beg you to watch them the moment you look away. They require all of your time and energy. They often have dramatic meltdowns over minor injuries. They are desperate for comfort, attention and praise. They have temper tantrums, meltdowns, and outbursts. They are persistent. They will use stubborn behavior to get their way, asking incessantly, arguing, and negotiating. And what are kids like when they are frightened, or hurt, or tired? They are clingy, whiny, needy, and super emotional.

 

Right after I texted a friend about not wanting to be a child, God spoke to me about that very thing.

He said, "No, I want you to be like a child. Come to me like a little kid."

Jesus tells us in Scripture :
"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14)

And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3)

The truth is that I am needy and I am desperate for love and worth. But instead of trying to steal those things from my closest friends and family, or cover them up, or condemn them... God wants me to come to him, in the same way children run to their parents.

God is growing me and maturing those young spots in me. Jesus accepts me just as I am but I know that God doesn't want me to be like an infant tossed back and forth by the waves or controlled by my emotions. That is why I take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. But this afternoon I'm allowing myself be a child. Because it is in these moments of humanness and weakness that I run to the throne and into the arms of Jesus my Savior and God my Heavenly Father. Today, I'm going to God like a child.

I will boast in my weakness. I am a wounded healer. Since my attempts at filling the emptiness in my soul have failed, I will allow God to come in and fill me. Cover me. Clothe me. Just like he did for Adam and Eve in the garden when they were weak and full of shame. I'll exchange my filthy rags for Jesus' robe of righteousness.

I wanted to offer hope and encouragement to anyone else that is human and weak or struggling with me today.

Give yourself grace.
Have compassion on yourself. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. When Jesus sees us, He sees us like sheep without a shepherd and he has compassion on us. He doesn't throw stones or condemn us. He offers us grace upon grace. He truly is enough.

And for those of you with wounds... know that healing doesn't happen overnight. And it has to happen from the inside out. Wounds are deep and band aids won't work. To heal properly you might have to open it up. You need surgery. And you will need a lot of post-op care. Daily mending and changing the bandages. Lots of self-care. It will be painful, it will sting, and it is going to take courage to not give up. But do not lose heart. Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So fix your eyes on Jesus, the healer, helper, comforter, restorer, and redeemer and be healed in the presence of His Holy Spirit.

May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.

Bringing beauty back!

Last Sunday was a beautiful day. The new "Unchained" series through the Apostle Paul's epistles is going to be amazing! And how sweet to worship with church family!!!

 

Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul, Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, O my soul, I'll worship Your holy name

 

We had our final NYC team meeting after church. Jerry McCorkle led us through the story training. He definitely brought us back to the beauty of the story we will be sharing on the streets and in the parks of New York.

"At some point you need to tell the Christian story in a way that addresses what people most want for their own lives, what they are trying to find outside of Christianity, and show how Christianity can give it to them. There is a way of telling the gospel that makes people say, "I don't believe it's true, but I wish it were." You have to get to the beauty of it, and then go back to the reasons for it. Tell the story in such a way that makes their mouth water... that makes them wish it were true. Get back to the beauty of the gospel." (Timothy Keller)

We discussed Chapter 5 in Fresh Wind Fresh Fire and prayer-walked at Anderson Park on Monday. I spent most of my time playing basketball with 4 young guys. After the first game I told them why I was at the park - because God loves them and is pursuing them. We joined hands on the court and prayed together. It was the sweetest thing. We continued to play and a few other team members joined in on the game. It was so much fun! One of the young guys, James, was interested in coming to church. Look for him on Sunday!!! Several other team members had cool stories from that night, which they shared at Dairy Queen. Next Monday will be our last Monday before we are in New York City! EEK!!!

Many people on our team are nervous and anxious for the trip. It's hard to talk to complete strangers, and it's even harder to talk to someone about Christianity when they disagree with your beliefs. It's scary and often very awkward. They usually reject you, which isn't much fun at all! You may be wondering why we do these prayer walks or why we share the gospel? Why is it so important?

Well.... I've watched this youtube video on repeat, over and over and over.... It is a perfect example of why we should proselytize and value evangelism, even street evangelism! Please watch!!

http://youtu.be/ZhG-tkQ_Q2w

The reason why we step out of our comfort zones and share the story of God is because of love. It's because we care about people! Even strangers! How can you let someone get hit by a truck? How much do you have to hate someone to watch it happen!?!? Let's tackle them! :-)

Obviously we don't want to literally tackle people with our faith... which is why the story training on Sunday was so wonderful. The story of God is beautiful, and our stories will only be beautiful when they intersect with The Story. The story is all about how God loves His children, and comes to rescue them. Our trip to New York trip is just another chapter, and what a beautiful one it will be!

Chapter 5 Quotes:
In the first two chapers of Acts, the disciples were doing nothing but waiting on God. As they were just sitting there... worshipping, communing with God, letting God shape them and cleanse their spirits and do those heart operations hat only the Holy Spirit can do... the church was born. The Holy Spirit was poured out.

The Apostles has this instinct: When in trouble, pray. When intimidated, pray. When challenged, pray. When persecuted, pray.

God does his most stunning work where things seem hopeless. Wherever there is pain, suffering, and desperation, Jesus is. And that's where His people belong--among those who are vulnerable, who think nobody cares. What better place for the brilliance of Christ to shine?

Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7) You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13)
You do not have, because you do not ask God. (James 4:2)

The sad truth is more people are turning to crack than to Christ. More people are dipping into drugs than are getting baptized in water. Only turning God's house into a house of fervent prayer will reverse the power of evil so evident in the world today.

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

Strong desires make strong prayers.... There can be no true praying without desire.

God says to us, "Pray, because I have all kinds of things for you; and when you ask, you will receive. I have all this grace, and you live with scarcity. Come unto me, all you who labor. Why are you so rushed? Where are you running now? Everything you need, I have.

No one is beyond His grace. No situation, anywhere on earth, is too hard for God.

God is so huge! He is able! We have all power and authority through Jesus and the Holy Spirit and I'm believing God to do mighty things, and I know he will do immeasurably more than all I can imagine! The best is yet to come!

Who was praying for me?

Two Mondays ago we did what the disciples did.... we gathered and prayed and waited on the Holy Spirit. The rain kept us out of Fairview Park but it didn't keep us from praying!

Last Monday we discussed my favorite chapter of the book -- Chapter 4!

Cymbala tells the story of his own daughter who rebelled against God and ran away into the streets of NYC. Jim was called to believe and obey what he was preaching every Sunday-- the power of prayer.

I wish every one of you the opportunity to experience a "Tuesday night Prayer Meeting" at the Brooklyn Tabernacle. How can I even explain it!?!? Picture a line around the block, an hour before the meeting started!! There were so many people there desperate for God. And they were approaching the throne of grace with confidence! They believed that God was able! So they prayed and asked expectantly! This is defnitely modeled by their preacher who continues to lead them in praying and calling upon the Lord.

Let me share the story from the book:

After 2.5 years of a wayward daughter, Cymbala was desperate for God to come to the rescue. He believed God was able despite the hopeless situation, and he even thanked God in advance for answering his prayers!! During one of the prayer meetings, a spirit-let woman shared the impression that God was wanting them to stop the meeting to pray for Jim's daughter, Chrissy. The entire congregation joined hands, prayed and groaned in desperation of Chrissy's return.

Thirty-two hours later Chrissy came home weeping and begging for forgiveness. She shared how God had woken her up in the middle of the night and given her a vision of the path she was on and where it was leading--to death. She realized she had been wrong and rebellious. At the same time she experienced God's loving arms being wrapped around her, holding her, rescuing her.

Chrissy began to continually ask her father who had been praying for her. "Who was praying for me? Who was praying for me Tuesday night?"

Jim and Carol learned as never before that persistent calling upon the Lord breaks through every stronghold of the devil, for nothing is impossible with God.

God desperately wants us to believe Him. He says, "I'll help you, I really will. When you don't know where to turn, then turn to me. When you're ready to throw up your hands--throw them up to me. Put your voice behind them, too, and I'll come and help you."

Pastor Cymbala writes, "Satan's main strategy with God's people has always been to whisper, 'Don't call, don't ask, don't depend on God to do great things. You'll get along fine if you just rely on your own cleverness and energy.' The truth of the matter is that the devil is not terribly frightened of our human efforts and credentials. But he knows his kingdom will be damaged when we lift up our hearts to God."

 

Why is it so tempting for us to rely on our own cleverness and energy instead of humbling ourselves, calling on God's name with all our hearts, and depending on him to do great things?

 

I have had a huge revelation this week about this very thing.

 

You see, our fight is not against flesh and blood, we are in a spirtual war. The Apostle Paul in Ephesians 6 tells us this:

Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.  

We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. --2 Corinthians 10:3-5

 

There is a constant spirtual battle going on in all of our lives. We have an enemy!!! He is an accuser, deceiver, and thief that only comes to steal and kill and destroy. In the other corner we have a Helper, Comforter, Counselor, a Good Shepherd that comes to give life, and life to the full. Greater is He that is in us than he that is in this world. (1 John 4:4)

Satan loves to attack us in our weak moments, or when we are doing great things for God! He hates it when his kingdom is attacked! He hates it when we pray and call on the Lord! He hates it when we believe God. But we have the power!!! All authority has been given to Jesus and He is living in us! May the eyes of your heart be enlightened to the great power that we have in Jesus.

"I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself." Ephesians 1: 19-23

 

 Favorite quotes from Chapter 4:

"Cain and his posterity had gone their own way, independent of God. By contrast, these people affirmed their dependence on God by calling out to Him."

 

"A God-placed instinct in human hearts came alive. People sensed that if you are in trouble and you call out to God, He will answer you! He will intervene in your situation."

 

"Have you heard about the God who answers when you call on him? He's more than just the Creator; He cares and responds to our needs. He actually understands what we're feeling. He listens! He responds! He acts!"

  

"But let some trouble come, and how quickly we sense our inadequacy. Trouble is one of God's great servants because it reminds us how much we continually need the Lord."

 

"The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of prayer. Only when we are full of the Spirit do we feel the need for God everywhere we turn."

 "My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you."
(Gal 4:19)

fatherless

Dad and I at the track, 2012.

For those of you who don't know, I lost my precious father this year on January 13th to lung cancer.

One of my favorite things to do with my dad ever since I was a little girl was putting together puzles. I got my dad 2 puzzles for Christmas, but sadly he was too sick and didn't have enough energy to work on them before he passed. They're sitting in my room, unopened, untouched.

The worst part about putting together puzzles is when you get to the very end, only to find a piece is missing! The puzzle can never be completed or whole without that missing piece! Oh the horror! That's how I feel about those puzzles sitting in my room. They will never be complete because my dad isn't here to work on them with me.

My precious father in his lucky track shirt.

Lately, I feel like a puzzle with a missing piece. Especially because tomorrow is my family's "annual father's day horsetrack event." Every year around father's day we go to the horse track at Arlington Park with my dad. We've done this for probably 10 years. Before Dad passed earlier this year he told us we better keep doing that!! We will honor his wishes!

But honestly, I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the day. Dad and I would chat before every single race about the horses, jockeys, owners, odds, etc... And tomorrow I have to do all of that without him. He belongs at the track with me, yet he won't be there. I'm left with emptiness. A deep ache in my heart where my dad belongs. It's like I'm missing a piece of the puzzle. The piece I'm missing is my dad.

God never intended for us to die. But the wages of sin is death. I am experiencing the consequences of the fall and the brokenness of the world in such an intimate way as I mourn and grieve my father. As I experience missing pieces.

As tears stream down my cheeks I begin to feel peace, joy, comfort, and hope. The crazy thing is that even though my dad is gone and my heart has bruises, cracks, and holes all over it...  I don't feel empty anymore... I actually feel whole and complete. Because even though I'm fatherless, I will never ever be Fatherless.

It may seem like you are missing some pieces to your puzzle. I totally get that. There will be holes and confusion in your puzzle until you find the One and Only, True missing piece. May you find the Only piece you need, the One that turns your puzzle into a beautiful picture that makes sense and is whole and complete.

Cool story:
Last week I was a small group leader at CIY, where 220 students from Eastview joined 1400 others in Holland, Michigan at Hope College for a week-long-conference. At the end of the amazing, life changing week, we were all given a "kingdom worker" card -- each card had a different challenge on it -- a kingdom work action step. My card was perfect for me. It was proof that God is real, alive, and actively pursuing His children, whom He loves and wants to come and rescue.

My kingdom worker card.

My card said this: "Study up on foster care and orphans in your area. Pray for the fatherless and orphaned, ask God how He wants you to serve them."

Tomorrow will be one of the hardest days of my life. But God is a perfect Father. He will never leave me, nor forsake me.  He won't abandon me as an orphan, He will come to me, and take me in (Matthew 5:48, Hebrews 13:5, John 14:18, Psalm 27:10). Even though my father won't be there, My heavenly Father will.

May you find the missing piece that will turn your puzzle into a beautiful picture of God's love.

And stay tuned about how God uses me as His hands and feet to run to the ones in need... specifically to the fatherless, because they need to know that they will never be missing the "Father" piece to their puzzle, the only piece that matters.

If you think of us... pray for my family tomorrow. Thank you!

The Power of Prayer

Tonight is week 3 of our prayer group--and I could not be more excited to pray at Fairview park!!!

 

If you weren't sure if there was power in prayer before this group, hopefully God has shown His faithfulness to you by now. If not, KEEP PRAYING and get ready to be blown away by the love and goodness of our heavenly Father, the Creator of the universe! Often times when we pray, we are asking for specific things... but God's greatest gift and best answer to our prayers is Himself, His presence. Tonight when we pray, and always... remember that He is with you, closer than your breath.

 

Praise stories:

Last week a member of the community sent the church a note sharing an encounter she had with a "pray-er" at Miller Park. Here is what she said:

"On Monday evening, June 10, 2013, while my husband and I were fishing at Miller Park, I was approached by a young lady named Allison (I don’t recall her last name.) She was a very pretty young lady, but I would soon find or see another (beauty) about her. She asked me if she could pray with me and I agreed. We discussed briefly some of my prayer needs and it was when she began to pray for me that I saw the other side of her– nearly as pretty as her face, oh the beauty of holiness that flowed from within this vessel of God. She prayed a prayer of wisdom, not seeking to arouse emotion, but simply to reach the ears of God on my behalf.

 

After the prayer, she sat and talked with me for a while and allowed me to tell her about how I met Jesus and about my family and as I sat there watching the look on her face, as she was sincerely concerned with me. I thank you for leading and teaching young people in this type of ministry. And I thank Allison for being bold for Jesus.

 

The one thing I didn’t tell Allison, as we talked, was that I am a minister, called by God to share the good news to all people, but on June 10, 2013, I needed the good news! God gave her just what to pray for. I woke up on Tuesday with the same problems, the same physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual needs, but because of Allison I woke with a stronger feeling, a new hope, and the blessing of being touched by an angel. I am 71 years old, and God never ceases to amaze me. In closing I will say God bless you Eastview ministries and an added double and multiplied portion of the Holy Spirit for Allison."

 

 

It may seem strange to walk around parks and surrounding neighborhoods praying and starting conversations with complete strangers, hoping they accept the invitation to come to the throne of grace with you. I'll never forget the majority of responses at our first NYC team meeting... almost everyone was anxious, a little fearful, and super intimidated about "evangelism." I'm certain that's what our enemy, the thief would want... to steal our voice, and kill our boldness, confidence, and witness, and destroy the good news we've been commissioned to share. I can't imagine the devastation satan must have felt when one of our team members prayed out loud for the very first time last week at Franklin Park. Or how angry he must have been when our friend Tiffany threw out the alcohol she had just purchased.

We are seeing small and large victories already, and the God stories will continue to be too many to list here. God has gone before us, orchestrating and ordaining divine appointments. The greatest thing we can do with our voices and lives is to be willing.... God takes care of the rest.

 

"You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you. I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms." Jeremiah 1:7-9

 

For me personally, I am so tired of being a coward. I get so caught up in myself and my insecurities... I am done with that. It's Eastview's time to emulate the fearless, ridiculous, and dangerous witness of the people in Scripture. My prayer for tonight is that God would take away our timidity and visit us, empower us, change us.

 

Acts 4:31 "After they prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken. And they were filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God with boldness."

What did the disciples do?

They just gathered and prayed. God took care of the rest. God poured out His Spirit so we could be His witnesses.

 

Tonight, let's gather and pray. We don't need to have the wisdom or the words. We don't need to muster up any strength. God will supply the power. The Holy Spirit will give us the courage. All we need is willingness.

 

Chapter 3--Fresh Wind Fresh Fire:

"I was abandoned on that rooftop, turning blue... but by God's grace someone discovered me and called 911. The paramedics came and revived me. I felt so bad about myself, I was sure nobody thought I was worth anything."

 

"Go inside the church?? No way. I was sure Jesus could never love someone as strung out as I was."

 

"Finally I hit bottom, at the end of a five-or-six-day crack binge. It was a Tuesday night when I ran out of money. For some reason I drove to the church--I don't know why. That night I found myself at the altar shedding tears I couldn't stop. 'Oh God, I need you in my life. Help me, please.' It was the moment of final surrender for me. From that point on, I began to believe God loved me. And with this newfound faith came hope and a slowly growing confidence. I knew--I really knew deep down--that God loved me and accepted me and I could relax in His love. I was free of the chains that had bound me for so many years."

 

"There's nobody too dirty, too far gone for her to care about. She is a living example of the power of God to puck up the downtrodden, the self-loathing, the addicted, and redeem them for His glory."

 

"The more we pray, the more we sense our need to pray. And the more we sense a need to pray, the more we want to pray."

Prayer walking begins!

Prayer walk at Miller Park

About 50 people gathered in the upper well at Eastview to discuss the first chapter of Fresh Wind Fresh Fire. More than half of those there had never done a prayer walk before. We were given some directions, prayed together, and then we were sent out in car loads to Miller Park. In groups of 3-5, we all began circling the park and surrounding neighborhoods, simply praying while walking.

What a beautiful start to our summer of calling upon the Lord and interceding on behalf of our community and the people in it. When we arrived at the park, some began walking immediately, while other groups circled up and prayed before they moved around. Some ushered the Holy Spirit while still in the car! Nevertheless, God was with us, He went before us, and stood behind us.

As I was walking, I was amazed at the ways God was working around me. I saw members of our group sitting next to people fishing, people circled up with complete strangers, holding hands together.... I saw the Spirit moving all around me. I saw fresh wind and fresh fire.

My group walked around the park, praying for any person we saw. We began interceding for the other members of our group as several of them engaged in conversations with random strangers they came across during their walks.

The Spirit led me to talk to a group of 7-or-so high-school-aged kids. One boy said that he knew I was going to come over to them. I was drawn to them because I didn't have Jesus growing up and because of that I was headed on a path of destruction. I could tell they were on a similar path. I wanted them to know that someone cared about them. That someone was pursuing them. That someone loved them and would never leave or forsake them. When I was their age a friend introduced me to the God who loves me, and it forever changed my life.

What's really cool about God is that He has ALL authority in heaven and on earth, therefore we can go anywhere and preach the good news in order to spread His fame. I told that group about Jesus and what He had done in my life. I didn't get to pray for them because they unfortunately were getting high. But they were engaged and asked many many questions. Seeds were planted. My prayer is that they saw something "irresistible" in me... and that someday they realize that it was Jesus, there is power in His name.

We met afterward at Dairy Queen to share stories:

Deb Karr's group came across a mother with two junior high kids that use to be Jehovah Witnesses. She also prayed with students from BHS who have never been to church.

Erin Humphries spent all of her time talking with 2 girls, one just happened to be a teen mom -- which is Erin's passion. The girls' said that they felt like no one loved them. "It's like they are carrying a beautiful gift but never opening it or receiving it," Erin said. They exchanged phone numbers -- how amazing -- to see fruit by the end of the conversation. Looking forward to hearing about any follow up with these girls from Erin.

Erin's husband Josh talked with a man named Jose. He wouldn't let Josh pray with him. Josh insisted because "everyone needs prayer for something." Jose finally allowed it and said, "This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me."Praise God!

One group saw a friend from Chestnut, who is also an evangelist. She was talking to someone from the park, so the group began interceding for her.

I'm sure there were many more cool stories! I'm excited to experience, hear, and share these amazing God things every week!

Today we will be going to Franklin Park. Still meeting at the church at 6:30 to discuss Ch. 2 of Fresh Wind Fresh Fire.

Here are my highlights:

"If we call upon the Lord, He has promised in His Word to answer, to bring the unsaved to himself, to pour out his Spirit among us. If we don't call upon the Lord, He has promised nothing--nothing at all. It's as simple as that. No matter what I preach or what we claim to believe in our heads, the future will depend upon our times of prayer."  

"I felt a new sense of unity and love among us. God seemed to be knitting us together. I didn't preach a typical sermon; there was new liberty to wait on God's presence." 

"Week after week I kept encouraging the people to pray. As Samuel Chadwick said long ago, the greatest answer to prayer is more prayer."  

"People weren't hungry for fancy sermons or organizational polish. They just wanted love." 

"Things to come in our church: God taking hopeless, even crazy people and changing them. I knew that a lot of churches gave lip service to the idea that God can do anything. But we needed to have real faith that anyone who walked in, regardless of his or her problems, could become a trophy of God's grace."  

"We never knew who might come to Christ as the Brooklyn Tabernacle. There were junkies, prostitutes, and homosexuals. But lost lawyers, business types, and bus drivers turned to the Lord there, too. We welcomed them all."  

"But in that meeting God clearly spoke to us that it wasn't the ground across the street He wanted to break. Instead, He would break our hearts and build His church on that foundation."  

"At a Tuesday night prayer meeting we laid the problem before God, weeping and pleading for a last-miute rescue of some kind." 

"God had formed a core of people who wanted to pray, who believed that nothing was too big for Him to handle. No matter what roadblock we faced, no matter what attack came against us, no matter how wild the city became in the late seventies--as cocaine arrived on top of heroin, and then crack cocaine on top of that--God could still change people and deliver them from evil. He was building His church in a tough neighborhood, and as long as people kept calling out for His blessing and help, He had fully committed Himself to respond." 

I'm thankful for Nicki and Cat who are leading us to pray!!! Nothing is too big for God!!!! Let's pray!!!