Let it shine.

I’ve been longing to go back to Kenya. I can't get those beautiful children singing my favorite song out of my head…. “I want to shine. I want to shine. I want to shine shine shine. I want to shine. When people see me, they see you Jesus. I want to shine my Lord I want to shine.” 

I’ve been wanting to shine my entire life. I’ve been trying to, too. I’ve failed, I’ve fallen, and come up short. As humans we all have the same condition—we are desperate for glory yet we are empty of glory. Our attempts at gaining glory actually lead to sin (idolatry) which empties us of our glory. Timothy Keller calls this a 'glory vacuum'. It’s a vicious cycle, because being emptied of our glory actually makes us want more glory. 

C.S. Lewis said, "Humilty isn't thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less." When I focus on myself and what I can do... I usually end up concentrating on my inadequacy, my depravity, my lack of good, light, and glory. It's then that I shrink back and cower in fear. The problem is I am focusing on myself and not Jesus. Similarly to Peter when he began sinking when he was walking on the water with Jesus. So, let us fix our eyes on Jesus. Let us turn our eyes upon Jesus. As I search for the truth and freedom about who I am and what I can do in Scripture... I am liberated, set free, and set on a stand so my light can shine! When I replace the lies with the truth, my faith becomes bigger than my fear. 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?Acutally, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." (Marianne Williamson)

Recently, I was liberated from my fear. Lack of confidence is something I have struggled with my entire life. Finding my voice with the confidence of who I am in Christ has been a work that God’s been doing in me for years! Not that I have completely overcome this yet…. But I have taken a baby step toward the goal! He who began a good work in me is carrying it out unto completion.

Actually, if I am being honest I was basically forced into this step by a shepherd's rod. But we can trust our leaders, just like our Good Shepherd, we can trust to be led to greener pastures and quiet waters no matter how painful the valleys are (Baker Blog: trust to follow).

This baby step has actually been more like a giant leap and I didn’t even realize it at the time! It's becoming more clear to me now how faithful my Good Shepherd is and how he has used this small and simple step of obedience to reveal such deeper truths in my life to grow me. 

Let me share the story of my liberation, my small yet profound victory:

I coached an Upward basketball team this year because a dear friend of mine was playing. I played college basketball and have always wanted to coach…. But this was very new territory for me. Thankfully I had a very experienced assistant coach on my team the whole time! At the end of the season I was asked to share my testimony with the team and their parents. I was not confident in myself to do this and I was very afraid—so much that I wanted to say no! I would get so much anxiety every time I thought about talking in front of people. I was focusing on myself, my abilities, my strengths, my power.... And I was not confident in myself at all! I was comparing myself to the other, much better coaches, and overwhelmed with inadequacy. I ended up doing it with not the best motives, but obedience is obedience, right? Ask Jonah. Lol.

Speaking in public or sharing my testimony wasn't the triumph.... The overcoming had to do with me shining my light. I have figured out how to shine…. The key is to not shine my light, but to shine the light of Christ. 

It’s not about me! It’s not about my glory. It’s not about me pleasing men or getting their approval. It’s about my gospel being centered on the truth, allowing me to do what I was created to do—shine the light of Christ! We were made in the image of God to reflect Him-- all for His glory! And it's not just in some of us, it's in all of us! In Colossians 2 it says to live in Him, abide, being rooted and built up and strengthened in Him, because in Christ lives all the fullness of God, and in Christ we are then brought into the fullness of God (Emphasis mine). If we could even grasp a small understanding of what that means... we would definitely be shining! We have all of this power living inside of us. If I'm full of Christ and He is full of God, why in the world am I shrinking back or cowering in fear? Freedom in Christ is knowing who you are in Christ-- loved, accepted, and secure! And that comes the moment we stop comparing ourselves to others and realize in Christ, God fully approves!

You can call me a foolish Galatian…because so often I am functioning as a slave child and not like an accepted and fully loved child of God—which is my true identity. The Apostle Paul said “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.” (Ephesians 5:8). We can be confident in our light because we have been clothed and covered with Christ-- thank you God for providing clothes that cover our shame since the Fall! (Keller)

In "Galatians For You," Timothy Keller talks about the Apostle Paul and how he wasn’t living for the approval of men, but to please only God. He didn’t share his testimony or the gospel for his own glory. No, he did it to share the power of the gospel, to point people to Jesus, and to show them that God rescued him, and he can rescue them too! And Paul was always ready to share the good news-- he couldn't help but speak about what he had seen and heard! (Acts 4:20)

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus told his disciples “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16)

So Jesus tells us to shine our light! He warns us not to hide it! But we have an enemy that wants to blow our light out! 

One scheme satan uses to silence me and steal my voice is to deceive me about my gifts. I played college basketball and have always dreamed to coach… but even with the 4^th/5^thgraders I thought I was a bad coach. I didn’t believe I was gifted at it. No confidence. So my inadequacy caused me to shrink back and to basically try and hide under a basket.

Coaching isn’t the only gift satan tries to steal. Usually I believe that I don't have any gifts at all! I want to do what I am called to do-- but it is hard when I have no clue what my gifts are! 

God sent me a messenger to speak truth to me about this a couple weeks ago! Her name is Erin Straza. Another “gift” that I have that I wouldn’t consider a gift is the passion to write. This is another place where satan has silenced me and stolen my voice. God’s timing is perfect, because just as our church entered into “Dangerous Witness” month where we are supposed to “not be able to help speaking about what we have seen or heard” God spoke to me about my writing, and he used my new writer friend to do it!

I shared with Erin my struggle with writing and how I have been wresting with my gifts and whether to publish these silly blogs or not. I read one thing from Erin’s website and God immediately spoke to me in mighty ways through Erin's story and her writing (Filling my Patch of Sky). She had some similar questions and wrestled a lot with her writing like I am doing. I read about why Erin writes, and then I knew I had to acknowledge my gift and start using it for the glory of God! 

We have all been given gifts. In looking at the parable of the talents, it all makes sense now! Some people are given 1 talent, 10 talents, 50 talents…. It doesn’t matter how much talent you have—the key is to use it for the glory of God.

Just because I am not as good of a writer as Erin or Timothy Keller, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t write. Just because I’m not as good of a basketball coach as Coach K or my assistant coach at Upward, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t coach. Just because I don’t have 50 talents, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t use my 1 talent.

I'm a 1 talent writer. I'm a 1 talent basketball coach. I'm a 1 talent testimony-sharer. Just because my gifts aren't as great as others, doesn't mean I shouldn't use them. "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." (1 Peter 4:10) But whatever I do, I'm going to do it with all my heart as working for the Lord not for men! (Col 3:23)

Satan likes to twist the truth just a little bit to make us focus on ourselves, or deceive us, to silence us—so we won’t speak about the good news of the grace of God through Jesus Christ. He is always coming to steal and kill and destroy. He wants to lead us astray—like sheep.

A friend constantly reminds me of the children's song—this little light of mine. This little light of mine…. I’m gonna let it shine. Hide it under a bushel? NO! I’m gonna let it shine! Don’t let satan “whooo” it out… I’m gonna let it shine. Let is thine… let it shine… let it shine….


The key is Jesus. The light in me is Jesus. The only way I can shine is if I shine the light of Christ. Without Him I am nothing, but through Him I have all things. God doesn't judge me based on what I do, He calls me to be faithful with what I have been given. In order to hear "well done, good and faithful servant" all we have to do is steward and invest ourselves into who God has called us to be and what God has called us to do. Offer your talents to Him, no matter how much you have.

Satan wants to squash your light, love, talent, voice, testimony… He often gets me to be quiet and shrink back, sometimes even hide. But I was created to shine! We are to let our light shine so that they may see our good deeds and praise our father in heaven! Glory to God! Soon before that verse is one of my favorite verses in the bible... because it gives me confidence in myself. The people that were changing the world with the gospel were unschooled, ordinary men. It is the Spirit that does the work, so it is okay if we are inadequate! It gives God more glory! God chooses the weak things to shame the strong. He uses foolish, lowly things to shame the wise. Jesus called fisherman! This gives me confidence because it means that God can use even me... the lowliest.

For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, "let light shine our of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to gives us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. (2 Corinthians 4:5-7)

Verse 13 goes on to say, "We believe, and therefore speak, all for the benefit of the grace reaching more people, for the glory of God!" (Emphasis mine) #dangerouswitness

Erin’s writing has had a huge impact on my life. It's the reason I'm able to actually put this blog out there instead of just in my draft folder. She is shining light! Erin's website is amazing-- you should read hers instead of mine! (Filling My Patch of Sky)

Even if we only have one talent, we need to use it. The second thing that God spoke to me through the parable of the talents is how important it is to be obedient in small things and faithful with what we have been given, no matter how little it is.

My prayer is that I would rely on the Spirit and not on myself. That I would decrease so that He might increase. I pray that I am faithful with what I have been given and don't bury it. I pray that I don't hide or shrink back, but that I let my light shine, so that they may praise my father in heaven! I pray that for the sake of the world the Spirit would burn like a fire in me. That we wouldn't even be able to help but speaking about what we have seen and heard, so that they may praise our father in heaven and give Him all the glory. This is my prayer for you, too!