Make Jesus Famous. {Good Friday}

I quit my "career" at Prudential almost exactly a year ago today (Friday, March 30th, 2012) to go into full time ministry. I guess you could say I left my nets to follow Jesus, even though I had no clue where he was taking me. God had been softening my heart for months prior to March 12th, 2012 when I would read James 4 "Boasting About Tomorrow" and feel called into ministry. I quickly found a temp job at State Farm and started working there on April 2nd.

It's funny how I remember dates. I remember the next day, April 3rd... I had just won a volleyball game at Eastview and was going out to eat with my team when I got a phone call from my sister and she said, "Dad's lung collapsed, he is on his way to the emergency room." I remember sobbing on the way to the ER thinking that my Dad was going to die. Little did I know that this would be the day that I had prayed for more than anything in the world-- the day my dad would stop drinking and everything would change. At the time though, I didn't realize Sunday was coming. It just felt like Friday.

I will always remember April 8th, 2012, Easter Sunday last year... when Nicki Green would bring my family communion at the hospital and share the gospel with my dad, for maybe the first time ever. I will never forget listening to her explain that when the veil was torn in half, from top to bottom, that Jesus became our high priest and granted us full access to God. What happy news-- that Jesus saved us and made a way back to God for us.

Today I'm reflecting on how "God works all things together for our good and His glory." I've witnessed how God can take what satan meant to harm us with and use it for good. Even though my dad is gone now.... I look back over the last year and see nothing but the goodness and the hand of God. Satan meant for my Dad's smoking, lung cancer, and death to harm and kill... but God used it to save my Dad, to give him life, and to rescue my family-- He used it for good! Satan meant for the crucifixion of Jesus to kill him. But God used it for the forgiveness of sins to rescue His children and save the world in the greatest display of power, the resurrection, which defeated sin and death once and for all! Satan didn't expect the death of death on Friday, but God knew Sunday was coming!

I think about the actual Friday that we are remembering today. The darkness and sadness of that day... Jesus being beaten and crowned with thorns, his blood dripping... I can only imagine the disappoinment and despair of the disciples as they watched Jesus, who they hoped was their messiah and savior, being mocked and hung on a cross. Hope was lost, death had won, and sin had conquered. But Sunday was coming. And because of God, that cross that seemed like the worst thing in the entire world on Friday, became the best thing ever on Sunday when God's plan for salvation was fulfilled and fully revealed after Jesus rose from the grave, ALIVE! It is finished! Debt paid in full!


When my Dad's lung collapsed.... it felt like friday. It felt like hope was gone and death had won. It seemed like the worst thing in the whole world. But because of God, Sunday was coming for my dad. When things get dark and hope seems lost... don't forget that God is able to do immeasurbly more than all we can ask or imagine. He is ALWAYS working things together for our good and His glory, even when the enemy, the thief... comes to steal and kill and destroy... Sunday is coming! Jesus is alive! And God loves us so much he looks into the world he created and loving us he comes to rescue us. He did it through Jesus on the cross and he continues to do it now through His Holy Spirit.


When I quit my job, I had never felt a calling like that before in my life... I didn't even know what "full time ministry" meant or looked like for me, but I decided go to the land God would show me, one step and one day at a time, starting with today-- instead of boasting about what I would do tomorrow!

As I sit here reflecting on the call I felt almost exactly a year ago... I remember people reminding me that we are all called into ministry, monk or merchant... yet, I feel the call again. I cannot shake this intense sense of leading, purpose, and growing commitment to Christ. I'm in awe of the way God has transformed my heart in the last year and a half. All I want to do is ministry... I can't help but speaking about what I have seen or heard. I have been convinced that the church is the hope of the world... and I'm sold out to that calling. I am living to preach the Word, share the Gospel, and care for the flock.

I've been tormented by the story of Jonah. I am not trying to run away from God or the calling He has put on my life but I know that there is no way I can do it. I've been tormented by the story of Gideon as well, because I make the same excuses he did. I'm so weak. I'm the least, the lowliest. I can't. I'm not good enough, I'm not able.... I've been thrown overboard and swallowed by a whale and as I sit and pray I am reminded that God is trustworthy to provide for what He has called me to do. I don't know exactly what that is for me... but I know apart from Christ I can do nothing. Even though I'm not able to take the gospel where God has called me to.... if I go forward in the strength I have, knowing God is with me... He will enable me to do what He has called me to do because His power is made manifest in my weakness. God is looking for unqualified people who will rest and go forth in the authority of Jesus Christ, not their own gifts and abilities.

Satan comes to steal and kill and destroy, but God continues to affirm my calling and to prepare me to do His work. My dad called me his pastor. If God can use me to shepherd my father, then I think God might be able to use me to minister to others. Just recently I realized that I am already doing all of the things I dream about doing, just on a smaller scale. This gives me peace and affirmation.

I'm so encouraged by Ephesians 4.... "to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of christ may be built up." This is me right now... being prepared.

I don't want a career. I don't want to make a mark on the world. I don't want to be liked by everyone, because if I did I wouldn't be following Jesus-- He warned us that we would be hated for following Him. I want to spread His fame.... like the disciples did... I want to make Jesus famous. I can't help but speaking about what I have seen and heard. What better time than Easter, to share the good news of the gospel of free grace. Easter is the time to make Jesus famous!

I'm encouraged by the people God has sent into my life during this season... I'm thankful I have people that love me enough and know me enough to be involved in my life... and that they are willing to hurt my feelings, to say I'm being arrogant, or disobedient, sharpening me, discipling me, preparing me to do what I'm called to do--whether it is writing, missions, counseling, pastoring, evangelism, discipleship... by taking the focus off of myself, and putting it on Jesus. I am learning how to crucify my flesh, die daily, and decrease so that He might increase. So I will be enabled to overcome the serpent that has held this world captive for far too long...  and share the good news and spread the fame of Jesus with the authority of Jesus.

I've never been encouraged or called out like Timothy was with the laying on of hands.... and I don't like telling people about my dreams or what I feel called to do.... because it overwhelms me with inadequacy and fear of failure, but last night as I was "having supper with Jesus"... he spoke to me and reminded me that he has set me apart and appointed me to spread Truth to the people all around me, and into the ends of the earth.

"But instead they went out and spread his fame all over the region." (Matthew 9:31)

It's not about me. The point is the fame of Jesus Christ.  He is the only one that can save us from the death that comes on Friday so we may be raised up on Sunday. May the news of Jesus and His saving and finished work on the cross spread all over the world!!

I am still waiting for the Sunday when God will reveal to me what he has actually called me to do... but until then I will live to make Jesus famous, knowing and trusting that Sunday is coming!!!

It is just Friday... but Sunday is coming!!!

The memorial at St. Joseph hospital for my dad. 

{What God used to speak to me about discerning my call: Southern Baptist Theological Seminary}