I can do nothing. #foolish #weak #lowly

I'm going to try to communicate what is going on in my head and in my heart the last few days... It has definitely been a battle. I want to comfort others with the comfort I've been given:

I'm overwhelmed by a relentless God.

God is in pursuit of His children.

My God is not dead... He's surely alive! 

My enemy the devil prowls like a lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8)

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. (John 10:10)

Satan intends to harm us. (Gen 50:20)

God ALWAYS works for our good and His glory. (Rom 8:28)

Satan is the father of lies.

The serpent deceived me. -Eve

What God says is Truth.
Jesus is the way, the truth, the life.

"Where are you?" -God (Pursuing us since the beginning.)

I was naked, felt shame, so I hid. -Adam & Eve
Who told you you were naked? -God

Satan needs to go sit on a tack!

Is it odd that one of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Genesis 3- which is entitled, "The Fall"? God has used the story of the Garden of Eden to really open my eyes and give me amazing revelation from His Spirit. I haven't heard Him audibly or anything, but He is speaking to me through His word. There is power in the name of Jesus. The Gospel is power.

I am not a fan of the schemes of satan. I've become very aware of them lately. Maybe that is why God's word has become so alive and active- because I am literally using it to replace the lies that are in the deepest part of my heart, and the new whipspers he speaks to me every day. Such a battle. I take comfort in knowing that greater is He that is in me than he that is in this world. In Christ, we are MORE THAN CONQUERERS! I must take EVERY though captive, surrender it, and make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

I'm leaving for New York on Saturday and it's funny how satan really starts working more as he is being threatened. I am having the same mental battle I have been having my whole life. Apparently. It's actually the same battle Eve had in the Garden of Eden. The same battle all humans have when they are tempted with fruit that makes us think we will be like God, have wisdom, be able to save ourselves... Ultimately, believing satan's lies as truth.

So here is my wisdom and revelation from the Holy Spirit:

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)

The Gospel has humbled me into the dirt. I really suck. I'm a sheep. And God knows it. (I just finished reading "A Shepherd looks at Psalm 23"-- highly recommended.) Here is the cool thing though... God truly is our Good Shepherd. He is a perfect Father. If we remain in Him.... we can do all things, and NOTHING is impossible!!!

It's good to realize your need, because only the sick need a doctor. I really struggle with hating myself and negative thinking. I really suck. I am a mess. I'm a sheep. I fall and fall again into believing satan's lies. And he will use anything to get me to doubt myself and to feel bad, and negative and shrink back into my old way, my old identity.

Even the Apostle Paul was a stupid sheep.... With a thorn in His flesh. But he delighted in weakness, because when we are weak, then we are strong. Even Paul did what he didn't want to do, and didn't do what he wanted to do. We all suck. We are all East of Eden. We are all deceived by satan the serpent, the father of lies, who is constantly prowling like a lion trying to devour us, harm us, steal, kill and destroy us.

But GREATER is He that is in us. The Holy Spirit dwells in us. Jesus told his disciples before He left this earth that they were going to get something greater than Him, His Holy Spirit- who would become their counselor. Who would intercede for them.

Don't forget about the Holy Spirit that lives in you. I've been asking God to fill me with His Holy Spirit daily. I have been praying without ceasing to be sensitive to Him, and led by Him. He raised Jesus from the dead and rescued the world with His sacrificial love. The Spirit enabled Jesus to be perfect. And He enables us to be like Jesus, to be a new creation, to be alive. Amen. That's good news.

I mentioned earlier that we are all East of Eden. We don't have harmony. We won't until Jesus comes back. So while we are here, while we are stupid sucky sheep, we need to remain in Christ.

I have been learning a lot about who God chose in the Bible. Jesus chose fisherman, tax collectors, prostitutes, sinners. Of whom I am the worst. I have been extrememly challenged, encouraged, inspired, and convicted by 1 Corinthians 1. You will read it later below.
I am willing and available to God. And I have realized I am completely inadequate, unable, incapable, unqualified, etc, to do anything. At the same time... I am feeling called. Called to follow Jesus, called to go and make disciples, called to have the mind of Christ, called to believe God. Now I have NO idea what that means or looks like. But I have a sticky note on my desk at work that says "Pray for Vision." So that's what I'm doing. Praying. And remaining in the vine. I cannot bear any fruit apart from Jesus.

Another thing God is speaking to me is to accept His gift, and receive His love. God loves His children and pursues us, and what He wants more than anything is to have a relationship with us. Wow. God loves me so much He also wants to allow me to participate in His story. In His work. Even though I can do nothing, I am nothing, I have nothing. It is difficult to believe you truly are as low as ashes.... but then experience unconditional perfect love and believe God when he says you can do all things. At the same time? This is how we recognize when our Gospel is not in the center. (Profound. Thank you Galations.)

Satan really wants me to focus on myself, my strength, my talent, my wisdom, my abilities, my power, my influence, myself...  Because if I do, I will not have any confidence, I will be insecure, and I will fail. I will doubt and I will sink. Call me Peter. Stupid sheep. But God doesn't want me to stop there. He wants me to know the Gospel. And have it at the center. He wants my identity to be in Christ. He knows I am weak and He wants me to access the Power I have through Christ and become strong. That is what "for when I am weak then I am strong" means.

In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. One of the best books I have ever read!!!! God LOVES impossible situations. He likes to make it clear that we can't do it. Because when we believe in Him, believe Him, then take a step of faith despite the impossibility.... and a miracle happens... He wants us to know it was all Him, and give Him all the Glory. This is the way God saved the world. His name is Jesus. Okay here is 1 Corinthians 1:

Christ Crucified Is God's Power and Wisdom

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written:
"I will destroy the wisdom of the wise;
the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate."
Where is the wise person? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified; a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of GOd. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things-- and the things that are not-- to nulify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God-- that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.

Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly. Write and hide it in your heart.

Nothing is too big for God.

Nothing is impossible for God.

He who promised is faithful.

We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

DON'T let mental lions keep you from experiencing everything God has to offer. Be a lion chaser!

Adversity to ministry. What seemed like a setback turned into a stepping stone.

Be strong and courageous (In Jesus); Do not be afraid. Be fearless. God is with you! Holy Spirit is in you!

NO PROBLEM=NO MIRACLE!!! Believe God to do the impossible in your life. Audacious faith. Ridiculous prayers. With God all things are possible. Proof... Every single story in the Bible. His name is Jesus.

Yesterday I was really encouraged by a couple "divine appointments" and an amazing sermon that God spoke at Eastview. The first thing is to pray in the name of Jesus and rebuke satan. Prayer is powerful. And we have full access to the Spirit of God that lives in us!!! The second thing is to have grace on yourself for your thorns, generational sin, and mistaken beliefs that you haven't unlearned yet. We are all works in progress. And it's not about us. It's not about me. It's not about what I can do. I don't want to let myself get in the way of God's calling on my life. "Are you focusing on God's promises or your limitations? (Mike Baker)" I'm thankful to have a Paul in my life that can constantly remind me that all I can do is dig ditches and proclaim the name of Jesus Christ. That is definitely something I can do. I will let God keep his job I guess, and do what only He can do-- bring the rain, make the sun stand still, and do the impossible things in my life and yours.

So I leave for New York on Saturday. I'm anxious and afraid and naturally want to shrink back and remain chained and in bondage paralyzed with insecurity.... but I'm going to pray for the Holy Spirit to do His work. And I'm going to choose to believe the truth- which is what God says. And I'm going to try and chase this lion. And I'm thankful that God uses my setbacks as stepping stones, to bring me closer to Him. Praise God through adversity.

And I'm going to finish another book today! Will be my 4th book this year since Jan. #newyearsresolutionbaby    :-)



Steven Furtick: (From His sermon at the Hillsong conference)

Using the life of Jeremiah.God called Jeremiah and Jeremiah felt inadequate.

The Call of Jeremiah

The word of the Lord came to me, saying,

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
    before you were born I set you apart;
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. ”

“Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”

But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.

Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.”

We are NEVER really ready to follow God's calling for our lives. And that is OKAY! Looking at the people God used throughout the Bible, God doesn't call any of us to be ready- He calls us ONLY to be obedient and follow Him.

Abraham wasn't ready because he was too old.
Moses wasn't ready to lead God's people out of the wilderness.
The disciples were never ready! They never got it! When they were ready they started to doubt because their faith was in their readiness.

Jesus said to the disciples in Mark 8:14-21 "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes to see and ears to hear?" Jesus wasn't talking about our preparation- you will never be ready but He is with you!!!

Fresh Wind Fresh Fire. "I despaired at the thought that my life might slip by without God moving greatly on our behalf."

God doesn't call me to feel ready. He calls me to follow Him. Step out. Have faith. Move forward. Next step. God's word is a lamp unto my feet and a light onto my faith. Step by step.

God is more interested in your full obedience than your full understanding. You're never really ready. And that's OKAY!!!!

God doesn't choose you in spite of being messed up... He chooses you because you are messed up.
Tell the devil what God says about you. He attacks your confidence. Tell him what your Father says. Talk back to your thoughts.

I don't have to feel ready to be ready because I don't live by what I feel, I live by what God says. My father says I can, so I can. And my Father says I am, so I am. Receive your calling. Get out of the boat because your Father told you you could. God gave Peter 1 word= come. Could be stay, go, go to the land I will show you. Believe God.

Because you're never going to feel ready... get ready on the way. If you wait until you're ready... you will never do anything, go anywhere, accomplish anything.

God will tell you what to say. He is with you.

God doesn't call you to fully understand... He only calls you to fully obey.

Just hear His voice. "I am with you. I will rescue you. I will never leave you or forsake you. I am with you to deliver you. I am your strong sustainer. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Do not fear I am with you. I know you aren't ready but I have a plan and purpose. As messed up and awkward as you are... I made you that way on purpose so the supremacy of my power might not rest in how cool you are but in how great I am- because I'm God and I'm with you."

More forward in the strength of the ever-present God. Ever-present help in times of trouble. He is your guide. Psalm 23. The Lord is my shepherd.... means that I'm a sheep. Even if God gives you direction, you don't just need God to tell you what to do, you need Him to show you the way, and to come get you and lead you. God doesn't want to give you guidance, He wants to be your guide. God is with you He won't forsake you.

"I know you're with me. I know you're with me here. I know you're love will light the way."


(You should listen to the full sermon! "Never ready faith in our ever-present God" on Elevation Church's App or online!)