fatherless

Dad and I at the track, 2012.

For those of you who don't know, I lost my precious father this year on January 13th to lung cancer.

One of my favorite things to do with my dad ever since I was a little girl was putting together puzles. I got my dad 2 puzzles for Christmas, but sadly he was too sick and didn't have enough energy to work on them before he passed. They're sitting in my room, unopened, untouched.

The worst part about putting together puzzles is when you get to the very end, only to find a piece is missing! The puzzle can never be completed or whole without that missing piece! Oh the horror! That's how I feel about those puzzles sitting in my room. They will never be complete because my dad isn't here to work on them with me.

My precious father in his lucky track shirt.

Lately, I feel like a puzzle with a missing piece. Especially because tomorrow is my family's "annual father's day horsetrack event." Every year around father's day we go to the horse track at Arlington Park with my dad. We've done this for probably 10 years. Before Dad passed earlier this year he told us we better keep doing that!! We will honor his wishes!

But honestly, I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the day. Dad and I would chat before every single race about the horses, jockeys, owners, odds, etc... And tomorrow I have to do all of that without him. He belongs at the track with me, yet he won't be there. I'm left with emptiness. A deep ache in my heart where my dad belongs. It's like I'm missing a piece of the puzzle. The piece I'm missing is my dad.

God never intended for us to die. But the wages of sin is death. I am experiencing the consequences of the fall and the brokenness of the world in such an intimate way as I mourn and grieve my father. As I experience missing pieces.

As tears stream down my cheeks I begin to feel peace, joy, comfort, and hope. The crazy thing is that even though my dad is gone and my heart has bruises, cracks, and holes all over it...  I don't feel empty anymore... I actually feel whole and complete. Because even though I'm fatherless, I will never ever be Fatherless.

It may seem like you are missing some pieces to your puzzle. I totally get that. There will be holes and confusion in your puzzle until you find the One and Only, True missing piece. May you find the Only piece you need, the One that turns your puzzle into a beautiful picture that makes sense and is whole and complete.

Cool story:
Last week I was a small group leader at CIY, where 220 students from Eastview joined 1400 others in Holland, Michigan at Hope College for a week-long-conference. At the end of the amazing, life changing week, we were all given a "kingdom worker" card -- each card had a different challenge on it -- a kingdom work action step. My card was perfect for me. It was proof that God is real, alive, and actively pursuing His children, whom He loves and wants to come and rescue.

My kingdom worker card.

My card said this: "Study up on foster care and orphans in your area. Pray for the fatherless and orphaned, ask God how He wants you to serve them."

Tomorrow will be one of the hardest days of my life. But God is a perfect Father. He will never leave me, nor forsake me.  He won't abandon me as an orphan, He will come to me, and take me in (Matthew 5:48, Hebrews 13:5, John 14:18, Psalm 27:10). Even though my father won't be there, My heavenly Father will.

May you find the missing piece that will turn your puzzle into a beautiful picture of God's love.

And stay tuned about how God uses me as His hands and feet to run to the ones in need... specifically to the fatherless, because they need to know that they will never be missing the "Father" piece to their puzzle, the only piece that matters.

If you think of us... pray for my family tomorrow. Thank you!

The Power of Prayer

Tonight is week 3 of our prayer group--and I could not be more excited to pray at Fairview park!!!

 

If you weren't sure if there was power in prayer before this group, hopefully God has shown His faithfulness to you by now. If not, KEEP PRAYING and get ready to be blown away by the love and goodness of our heavenly Father, the Creator of the universe! Often times when we pray, we are asking for specific things... but God's greatest gift and best answer to our prayers is Himself, His presence. Tonight when we pray, and always... remember that He is with you, closer than your breath.

 

Praise stories:

Last week a member of the community sent the church a note sharing an encounter she had with a "pray-er" at Miller Park. Here is what she said:

"On Monday evening, June 10, 2013, while my husband and I were fishing at Miller Park, I was approached by a young lady named Allison (I don’t recall her last name.) She was a very pretty young lady, but I would soon find or see another (beauty) about her. She asked me if she could pray with me and I agreed. We discussed briefly some of my prayer needs and it was when she began to pray for me that I saw the other side of her– nearly as pretty as her face, oh the beauty of holiness that flowed from within this vessel of God. She prayed a prayer of wisdom, not seeking to arouse emotion, but simply to reach the ears of God on my behalf.

 

After the prayer, she sat and talked with me for a while and allowed me to tell her about how I met Jesus and about my family and as I sat there watching the look on her face, as she was sincerely concerned with me. I thank you for leading and teaching young people in this type of ministry. And I thank Allison for being bold for Jesus.

 

The one thing I didn’t tell Allison, as we talked, was that I am a minister, called by God to share the good news to all people, but on June 10, 2013, I needed the good news! God gave her just what to pray for. I woke up on Tuesday with the same problems, the same physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual needs, but because of Allison I woke with a stronger feeling, a new hope, and the blessing of being touched by an angel. I am 71 years old, and God never ceases to amaze me. In closing I will say God bless you Eastview ministries and an added double and multiplied portion of the Holy Spirit for Allison."

 

 

It may seem strange to walk around parks and surrounding neighborhoods praying and starting conversations with complete strangers, hoping they accept the invitation to come to the throne of grace with you. I'll never forget the majority of responses at our first NYC team meeting... almost everyone was anxious, a little fearful, and super intimidated about "evangelism." I'm certain that's what our enemy, the thief would want... to steal our voice, and kill our boldness, confidence, and witness, and destroy the good news we've been commissioned to share. I can't imagine the devastation satan must have felt when one of our team members prayed out loud for the very first time last week at Franklin Park. Or how angry he must have been when our friend Tiffany threw out the alcohol she had just purchased.

We are seeing small and large victories already, and the God stories will continue to be too many to list here. God has gone before us, orchestrating and ordaining divine appointments. The greatest thing we can do with our voices and lives is to be willing.... God takes care of the rest.

 

"You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you. I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms." Jeremiah 1:7-9

 

For me personally, I am so tired of being a coward. I get so caught up in myself and my insecurities... I am done with that. It's Eastview's time to emulate the fearless, ridiculous, and dangerous witness of the people in Scripture. My prayer for tonight is that God would take away our timidity and visit us, empower us, change us.

 

Acts 4:31 "After they prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken. And they were filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God with boldness."

What did the disciples do?

They just gathered and prayed. God took care of the rest. God poured out His Spirit so we could be His witnesses.

 

Tonight, let's gather and pray. We don't need to have the wisdom or the words. We don't need to muster up any strength. God will supply the power. The Holy Spirit will give us the courage. All we need is willingness.

 

Chapter 3--Fresh Wind Fresh Fire:

"I was abandoned on that rooftop, turning blue... but by God's grace someone discovered me and called 911. The paramedics came and revived me. I felt so bad about myself, I was sure nobody thought I was worth anything."

 

"Go inside the church?? No way. I was sure Jesus could never love someone as strung out as I was."

 

"Finally I hit bottom, at the end of a five-or-six-day crack binge. It was a Tuesday night when I ran out of money. For some reason I drove to the church--I don't know why. That night I found myself at the altar shedding tears I couldn't stop. 'Oh God, I need you in my life. Help me, please.' It was the moment of final surrender for me. From that point on, I began to believe God loved me. And with this newfound faith came hope and a slowly growing confidence. I knew--I really knew deep down--that God loved me and accepted me and I could relax in His love. I was free of the chains that had bound me for so many years."

 

"There's nobody too dirty, too far gone for her to care about. She is a living example of the power of God to puck up the downtrodden, the self-loathing, the addicted, and redeem them for His glory."

 

"The more we pray, the more we sense our need to pray. And the more we sense a need to pray, the more we want to pray."

Prayer walking begins!

Prayer walk at Miller Park

About 50 people gathered in the upper well at Eastview to discuss the first chapter of Fresh Wind Fresh Fire. More than half of those there had never done a prayer walk before. We were given some directions, prayed together, and then we were sent out in car loads to Miller Park. In groups of 3-5, we all began circling the park and surrounding neighborhoods, simply praying while walking.

What a beautiful start to our summer of calling upon the Lord and interceding on behalf of our community and the people in it. When we arrived at the park, some began walking immediately, while other groups circled up and prayed before they moved around. Some ushered the Holy Spirit while still in the car! Nevertheless, God was with us, He went before us, and stood behind us.

As I was walking, I was amazed at the ways God was working around me. I saw members of our group sitting next to people fishing, people circled up with complete strangers, holding hands together.... I saw the Spirit moving all around me. I saw fresh wind and fresh fire.

My group walked around the park, praying for any person we saw. We began interceding for the other members of our group as several of them engaged in conversations with random strangers they came across during their walks.

The Spirit led me to talk to a group of 7-or-so high-school-aged kids. One boy said that he knew I was going to come over to them. I was drawn to them because I didn't have Jesus growing up and because of that I was headed on a path of destruction. I could tell they were on a similar path. I wanted them to know that someone cared about them. That someone was pursuing them. That someone loved them and would never leave or forsake them. When I was their age a friend introduced me to the God who loves me, and it forever changed my life.

What's really cool about God is that He has ALL authority in heaven and on earth, therefore we can go anywhere and preach the good news in order to spread His fame. I told that group about Jesus and what He had done in my life. I didn't get to pray for them because they unfortunately were getting high. But they were engaged and asked many many questions. Seeds were planted. My prayer is that they saw something "irresistible" in me... and that someday they realize that it was Jesus, there is power in His name.

We met afterward at Dairy Queen to share stories:

Deb Karr's group came across a mother with two junior high kids that use to be Jehovah Witnesses. She also prayed with students from BHS who have never been to church.

Erin Humphries spent all of her time talking with 2 girls, one just happened to be a teen mom -- which is Erin's passion. The girls' said that they felt like no one loved them. "It's like they are carrying a beautiful gift but never opening it or receiving it," Erin said. They exchanged phone numbers -- how amazing -- to see fruit by the end of the conversation. Looking forward to hearing about any follow up with these girls from Erin.

Erin's husband Josh talked with a man named Jose. He wouldn't let Josh pray with him. Josh insisted because "everyone needs prayer for something." Jose finally allowed it and said, "This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me."Praise God!

One group saw a friend from Chestnut, who is also an evangelist. She was talking to someone from the park, so the group began interceding for her.

I'm sure there were many more cool stories! I'm excited to experience, hear, and share these amazing God things every week!

Today we will be going to Franklin Park. Still meeting at the church at 6:30 to discuss Ch. 2 of Fresh Wind Fresh Fire.

Here are my highlights:

"If we call upon the Lord, He has promised in His Word to answer, to bring the unsaved to himself, to pour out his Spirit among us. If we don't call upon the Lord, He has promised nothing--nothing at all. It's as simple as that. No matter what I preach or what we claim to believe in our heads, the future will depend upon our times of prayer."  

"I felt a new sense of unity and love among us. God seemed to be knitting us together. I didn't preach a typical sermon; there was new liberty to wait on God's presence." 

"Week after week I kept encouraging the people to pray. As Samuel Chadwick said long ago, the greatest answer to prayer is more prayer."  

"People weren't hungry for fancy sermons or organizational polish. They just wanted love." 

"Things to come in our church: God taking hopeless, even crazy people and changing them. I knew that a lot of churches gave lip service to the idea that God can do anything. But we needed to have real faith that anyone who walked in, regardless of his or her problems, could become a trophy of God's grace."  

"We never knew who might come to Christ as the Brooklyn Tabernacle. There were junkies, prostitutes, and homosexuals. But lost lawyers, business types, and bus drivers turned to the Lord there, too. We welcomed them all."  

"But in that meeting God clearly spoke to us that it wasn't the ground across the street He wanted to break. Instead, He would break our hearts and build His church on that foundation."  

"At a Tuesday night prayer meeting we laid the problem before God, weeping and pleading for a last-miute rescue of some kind." 

"God had formed a core of people who wanted to pray, who believed that nothing was too big for Him to handle. No matter what roadblock we faced, no matter what attack came against us, no matter how wild the city became in the late seventies--as cocaine arrived on top of heroin, and then crack cocaine on top of that--God could still change people and deliver them from evil. He was building His church in a tough neighborhood, and as long as people kept calling out for His blessing and help, He had fully committed Himself to respond." 

I'm thankful for Nicki and Cat who are leading us to pray!!! Nothing is too big for God!!!! Let's pray!!!

Let's pray!

My signed copy of Fresh Wind Fresh Fire.
"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace
with confidence, so that we may receive mercy
 and find grace to help us in our time of need."
Hebrews 4:16

I published my very first blog almost exactly one year ago, on 6/2/12. Shortly after that, I began writing about the ways God was preparing me for my trip to New York.

Tonight is week one of the prayer group at Eastview. We are reading through the book "Fresh Wind Fresh Fire" by Jim Cymbala, pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle. I'm reminded of the ways God was working in my life last year at this time... He was preparing me for what He had already prepared for me.

I'm excited about what God is going to show me this year as I read the same book and prepare for the same trip.

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." -- 2 Chronicles 7:14

When Jim Cymbala found himself as an inadequate pastor of a failing church, he was humbled. Jim and his wife Carol could do nothing on their own and in their own strength. This led them to their dependence on the Holy Spirit. It also led them to their knees in prayer. And they found promises in the Bible to claim and stand on, never letting go of their faith to believe God to move mightily and do the impossible.

I'm excited about what we are doing tonight at Eastview and in our own "Brooklyn" known as Bloomington/Normal. The profound truths from chapter 1 have encouraged and inspired my faith, and I believe as we pray and call on the Holy Spirit that we will experience a fresh wind and fresh fire of our own. What happens when God's Spirit invades the hearts of His people???

Here are my highlights from Chapter 1 of Fresh Wind Fresh Fire....

"I'm not qualified," I protested. "Me, a minister? I have no idea how to be a pastor." He said, "When God calls someone, that's all that really matters. Don't let yourself be afriad."

That evening, when I was at my lowest, confounded by obstacles, bewildered by the darkness that surrounded us, unable even to continue preaching, I discovered an astonishing truth: God is attracted to weakness. He can't resist those who humbly and honestly admit how desperately they need Him. Our weakness, in fact, makes room for His power.

Jesus called fishermen, not graduates of rabbinical schools. The main requirement was to be natural and sincere. His disciples had to depend totally upon the Lord and His power.

I knew God wanted to do much more.... and he would, if we provided good soil in which he could work.

What we needed instead was a fresh wind and fresh fire. We needed the Holy Spirit to transform the desperate lives of people all around us.

I despaired at the thought that my life might slip by without seeing God show himself mightily on our behalf.

 His word to me was grounded in countless promises repeated in the Scriptures; it was the very thing that had produced every revival of the Holy Spirit throughout history.  

It was what I already knew, but God was now drawing me out, pulling me toward an actual experience of himself and His power. He was telling me that my hunger for him and his transformning power would be satisfied as I led my tiny congregation to call out to him in prayer.

If you have some time to read my blogs about New York last year, here they are:
I can do nothing. #foolish #weak #lowly (One week before my trip in 2012)
Lessons from Peter (Right before started reading Fresh Wind Fresh Fire last year)
I'll go with you (Post New York Blog)
The Thief (Spread Truth Banquet - Jim Cymbala)